Mike Koenigs says that the above Chairman Mao style headshots are authorized for the media … so I used them (via Photoshop) because I definitely wouldn’t want to disturb Mike’s little self-fuckfest. I totally get it, a lady always got to keep her panache … narcissistic as it may be. I’m not sure, though, if Mike is going to like the rest of this post. Mike and his meek lickspittle, Ed Rush, have recently hosted an OMFG-I-Cannot-Believe-It’s-4-Hours 4 hours ScaMarketing livecast. Without ruining the surprise, the webcast is kinda like watching a 240 minutes loop of some irritating Canadian kid ululating for his baby (or worse, watching him doing it shirtless). Unless you are an overzealous teenage girl from Japan, here’s a concise made up illustration of this livecast for your convenience (you’re welcome): Rush: Oh my dear Mike, your comforting warmth in the cold night is more than what my wretched soul has ever deserved … Koenigs: Buy my products. Rush: Sniffing your coffee breath every morrow as your delicate lips caressing mine invigorates my humble spirit … Koenigs: Buy my products. Rush: Forever hold me in your lax arms … hold me like the first time you softly […]
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The 4-Hour Sermon of the Koenigs
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Sinbox Blueprint
The internet has been asking me a lot recently if Anik Singal is for realz … if he really broke the super-secret formula for perpetual internet riches … if he’s indeed the most brilliant marketing guru as other gurus of the fake law-of-attraction universe claim he is. Let me break the suspense right at the beginning, just as in all this New Age pseudo-literature crap out there that people confuse with actual literature (and because this kick ass smack-the-scammer blog isn’t a fucking novel) … no, ma’am, he isn’t. To elaborate the answer a bit more: Anik is just a long-time sociopathic swindler who is only capable of feeling any sort of empathetic emotion towards the ugly version of Narcissus that’s reflected in the mirror. In fact, Anik cares about himself (and solely himself) so goddamn much, that if it were illegal he might have even been accused of raping his own hand. If you find the level of darkness here terrifying … appalling … disgusting … and/or horrific … then good, run away. Run away NOW from this morosely evil sphere like a runaway train, never goin’ back. If you’re still not fully convinced, then stay around … and get […]
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Skinning Herbalife
El Patrón Michael O. Johnson, the ruthless shotcaller of the biggest MLM mafia in the world, is not all shits and giggles these days. Not that the lucrative suffering of millions had ceased, God forbid … but some days it’s just not that easy to run a Cosa Nostra type exploitation racket. Did I just imply that Herbalife operates as a criminal organization? Oh noes! I’m so sorry, because what I’ve meant to imply is that Herbalife operates as a criminal organization. In a normal market economy, when some company takes a serious hit, its evident competitor supposed to pick up the “demand” and provide it with its own “supply” to its advantage. This is all pretty basic economics … but not in the MLM crime world, it’s not! From Bloomberg: Nu Skin Enterprises Inc. (NUS) plunged the most ever after the Chinese government said it would investigate the maker of skin-care and nutritional products following a Chinese newspaper’s report that Nu Skin was a “suspected illegal pyramid scheme.” Shares of other direct sellers such as Herbalife Ltd. and Usana Health Sciences Inc. also dropped. So wait, if Nu Skin is supposedly a “nutrition company” and Herbalife is supposedly a […]
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The Top Network Marketing Companies to Make You Filthy Rich
Here are the absolutely besty bestest best MLM companies that will make you even wealthier than your totally realistic “Warren Buffett meets Carlos Slim” fantasies: Uhm … Eh … What about … Oh, oh … Ah … Ummm … Ugh … This is getting a bit awkward … Surely there is at least … [Head explodes, Carrion Crows eat the remains.] Freedom! Triumph! Excelsior! Total suckcess!
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The MLM Plague
In an ideal world … this website’s gigantic staff of one would have kept on joyfully writing (because writing is awesome!) about technology stuff (because technology is awesome!) while making a reasonable living doing so (because making a decent living writing about awesome technology stuff is awesome!). But alas! [Brace yourselves] … this is not an ideal world. Our global society is brimmed with sociopathic life-ruining charlatans who sadistically mar it for the rest of humanity, all for their own personal selfish gain while paradoxically pretending “to help” others (sighing “motherfuckers” heavily). This personified blog just couldn’t ignore that we have a huge epidemic problem to deal with, and so it has embarked on a mission to rid the world of this fucking evil … a mission that is, with almost all certainty, predestined to fail (but, like, fuck it; I’m doing it anyways). Multi-level marketing (MLM) scams are one of those plagues that ravage our virtual/physical lands … they are blatantly deceptive, flagrantly fraudulent and simply wrong from the core. Nevertheless, innumerable amount of good honest people still fall for the malicious pipe dream of MLM. Therefore, through a fantastic contribution of Pyramid Scheme Alert’s Robert FitzPatrick (who is […]
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The Rippln Implosion
Oh, did you take it seriously? Did you really buy into all that hype? Did you actually think you’d become rich by sharing your uninteresting status updates or some stupid apps? Oh no … don’t tell me that you told your caring parents to go fuck themselves because they didn’t believe the “bigger-than-email social revolution”? Do you feel that saddening sadness … and enraging rage? This totally ladylike blog sympathizes with your soreness … although you probably were kinda a douche towards her. A manipulative requiem from one of Rippln’s co-crooks, Jim Bunch, to the racket’s remaining victims: Hi Friends, I wanted to personally connect with you all and let you know that Rippln will be closing it’s doors very soon. As you may have heard, I brought investors to the table to acquire Rippln and bring it back to the original vision and mission. Unfortunately, the due diligence made it apparent that we would not be able to raise the next round of VC capital that would be necessary to take Rippln where it needed to go and therefore the investors had to decline the opportunity to purchase Rippln. Please know that I respect and appreciate each and everyone […]
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The Great List Plunder
Ah, the list … this treasured treasure that every internet criminal desperately needs. Scams come and go, but the list … the list is the lifeline that maintains a constant flow of blood monies to the crooked douche at the top. The list to the scammer is like Romeo to Juliet or, more befittingly, like Siegfried to Kriemhild (vengeful Medieval German widows are quite insane, ya’ll). It could have almost been romantic if there wouldn’t have been any real people behind the list … who are getting treated like they are a fucking commodity. Vick Strizheus, Empower Network’s loftiest fucktard, is a predatory felon who pretends he can properly spell words with more than one syllable (unsuccessfully). Before he started cult-cultivating his fake guruism, Vick’s greatest achievement was a grandiose conviction for stealing money … which he did in the stupidest stupid way possible for a stupid thief. Unfortunately, even dumb little parasites like Vick can evilly thrive in the unruly dominion of the World Wide Web. Since straightforwardly stealing money obviously didn’t work out for Vick (did I mention dumb and stupid?), he moved into another plundering venture … email lists of his affiliates. But I already been there, […]
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Bamboozling Budding Bunghole
The French have this expression, dents du bonheur … which means that people with a gap between their front teeth are lucky. But ever since Zinedine Zidane retired, I don’t particularly care about what the French have to say anymore. Here’s one gap-toothed bastard who isn’t going to be so lucky … Jonathan Budd is … a fucking nobody. A fully flopping failing failure who feigns fruition and fabricates a fake front of a feasible fortune even though he’s just an all F’s fuckup. Just sayin’ in case you Google-asked and don’t realize yet where exactly you’ve landed. As a young child, Jonathan went through a truly horrible traumatic incident … which I will not elaborate, nor joke about whatsoever. It seems that subsequent to the tragic childhood affair, older Jonathan now remains completely numb to other people’s afflictions … because if he had suffered then so should everybody else. Wherefore, it was only natural for Jonathan to be allured by the perfect cesspit of great human misery … MLM. But alas! There are no honest winners in MLM, only losers at the bottom (over 99%) and scammers at the top (less than 1%). At first, Jonathan mistakenly chose the […]
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Frank Kern vs Empower Network
Now this is quite hilarious. If even the Godfather of Scamworld himself publicly and openly calls your appalling MLM racket a scam … it means that your appalling MLM racket is one gigantic super-duper-uber motherfucking scam. And that you are a pretty stupid scammer. Apparently, Frank Kern not likey Empower Network so much … nope, not at all. Dear Empower Network and iPas2 affiliates who are using my image to advertise on Facebook: STOP LYING TO PEOPLE by implying that I endorse your “opportunity”. I do not. I think it is an embarrassment to the community and a major target for regulatory action. For anyone who give a d@mn: Not only do I not endorse this, I openly OPPOSE it. I support people working hard and making a living but this is about as compliant as a meth lab (in my unsubstantiated opinion) and I want nothing to do with it. So – if you keep using my image to BLATANTLY LIE to people with your implied endorsement, your puny commission checks will go straight to your legal defense fund. O … M … F … G. It’s kinda like the tragic Persian tale of Rostam and Sohrab … only […]
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Doctoring a Lawsuit – A Poem
Hi there again, my dear good old Me! How are you today, wherever your bilocated physique may be? Quite foolishly, I always thought that I’m just one … Though wondrously, it appears that another my being had to spawn. I cannot really explain how it occur, when or why And I am not even sure if it would be safe to pry. All I know is that on two selves I am to ride, Or at least this is what the fake doctor had prescribed. Twice I was mentioned in his fictitious suit, but With no less than two different names … what a mutt. Furious he is that I divulge he is not a real healer, Whereas unsolicitedly he gropes the vulnerable as a misery dealer. Do not fret, I am not to deter by some frivolous threat. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever by this repulsive raging rat. Whenever I face this fetid form of fraudulent feral figure, I have no choice but to look him in the eye while flipping the finger.
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Two
Two years. Versus Evil. Impact. Awareness. Mockery. Evil is angry. Very angry. Furious. Wants oppression … … and blood. Fuck Evil. Hacking attempts. DDoS attacks. Proxies. Greedy lawyers. Online mercenaries. Legal threats. Death threats. Rape threats. Rape & death threats.…
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The Haunted Wood
Violence is the refuge of the weak. The incompetent. The insecure. The one who feels so powerless, that he has to coercively force his own failing rationalization on others. Violence demonstrates cognitive disability that poorly attempts to compensate for a…
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South Dakotan Exodus
“Bad Retarded Jellyfish! Bad, bad Retarded Jellyfish!” Says the state of South Dakota to the retardest (but yet so fucking predatory) jellyfish in the Pacific, Vick Strizheus, and every South Dakotan’s heart gets filled with pride and joy forever and…
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The Harrowing of Hell
James Arthur Ray. Three words that by themselves are neutral, but combine them together and they convey so much of a calamitous meaning. Fakery, duplicity, exploitation, loss … immeasurably excruciating non-refundable human loss. James Arthur Ray. The mere whisper of…
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Alone in the Dark
This is going to be a happy day! Yes, those are indeed happy days for all the fucking extremists in the jolly Middle East! If you are a fanatic who believes that your God is totally the bestest best flying…
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Tracey Hates on a “Tracey Hater”
Scammers are like cockroaches … it is possible to eliminate the threat of one of those little disgusting fuckers; but shortly thereafter, the roach’s whole sociopathic gang would arrive to feast upon the repugnant twisting corpse. Going even further with this…
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